Monthly Archives: December 2011

Nuff Said

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Home Improvement Brought To You By Geico

I saw this when watching one of those “I-promise-I’m-not-gay-just-because-I-watch-home-improvement-shows“.  You tell me….  Isn’t this the Geico caveman?  There’s a show on AnimalPlanet called “In Search Of Bigfoot” where these guys go year-after-year into the woods to find Bigfoot.  No luck so far, so I’m predicting another season.  But, all they have to do is go to HGTV and I’m betting that Sasquatch needs a new kitchen with an open concept living room.  Freaky, though.  Somebody married this….


Back To The … Uh… Future? Past? Whatever.

You know, when I was performing the role of Marty McFly in the movie Back To The Future, the hours were grueling.  Starlets in my trailer between takes.  Fist-fights on the set with the director.  Then, for whatever reason, they fired me and gave the role to Michael J. Fox.  Whatever, dude.  Oh, who am I kidding?  DAMN YOU MICHAEL J FOX!  That role was MINE!  Mine, I tell you!


House Of Reprsentatives

You would have thought that at the VERY least, the sign maker would have caught this.  But, even if they didn’t, wouldn’t the owner of the Funky Blues Shack in SanDestin?  No?  Well, OK.  Maybe I’m the only one.  Perhaps not even ONE of the reprsentatives caught it.  Food for thoght.


Hey. You’re Fat.

If you are so fat that you almost cause your SUV to tip over simply by sitting in the passenger seat, then I think it’s time to mix in a salad or two.  You probably go around at Halloween saying “Trick or Meatloaf“.  People jog around YOU for exercise.  Would have loved to have seen this vehicle try to top 40mph because gravity is an evil bitch. Wouldn’t you?


Where’s Waldo?

Just outside of Little Rock.  These SOBs couldn’t spell “Typhoon” even though it was spelled for them just ABOVE THE DAMN LETTERS!  Don’t give me that BS about not having anymore “H” letters because there’s one in the word SHELL!  And, they misspelled “Business” AND had the wrong tense on the word “appreciate“.  Dammit.  Just go ahead and misspell the whole thing and claim it was on purpose.  Jackass.


WLBT Pole Dancar; Danser; Dancer

Hey, WLBT…. I’m still on your arse.  How do you spell “Gordon”?  Any clue?  Bueller?  Bueller?  Anyone?  Anyone at all?