Look at some of the great quality
crap merchandise that you can find at a dollar store!
I’ll bet it includes “Thumpers”, Beer Pong, Chandeliers, Games With Nasty Words In The Titles, and much more! What I found disturbing was what was at the bottom of the box…
You have to have at least two in order to play? Why? Doesn’t make sense. Surely you can play alone, right? Especially if you’re like me. Irish. You know the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding? One less drunk.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? WC Fields
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time, that’s not too bad. But, New York City? Henny Youngman
Then you’ll like this store. Conveniently located between Soupy’s Sales and Steve’s Jobs.
Tried to sell me some Ripple
I said “no, no, no”.
Ever notice that figures from the Bible are depicted only one way? How, you ask? Well, lucky for you, I have some examples! What are the odds? Are Moses and Abraham twins? And they look amazingly like God, if you ask me. He’s the one who doesn’t have his name next to his image.
Before anybody gets on my case, I am, in fact, Christian. But these murals in our church are crazy…
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the Bible centered around actions in the Middle East? And aren’t those people Arabic? Heck, these pictures give you the idea that the Old Testament stories were located around the state of Iowa. Maybe Middle Iowa. Blonde haired white people? Really? Really? It would have been more believable is they were wearing something from The Gap. Or Aeropostale. And one of them was holding an iPod and the other wearing a PS3 headset.
This is the teaser for the Ferris Bueller Super Bowl commercial. Don’t know about you, but I would LOVE to see a sequel to FBDO even if Ferris is closing in on 50. But I’m stupid like that.
Before: And just 3 short years ago:
AFTER: And this week at the State Of The Union Address…
Holy, hell…. Talk about jet lag. She looks like one of those people on the commercials that show what people look like after just 2 years on meth. And they look better than this. No offense. But, whoa. Three years?