The Healing Power Of OJ Simpson

So, I’m scrolling thru my DirectTV menu and looking for something worth spending 30 seconds on before I switched channels.  Then, I see this…  “The Healing Power of J…

Gotta be some religious show, right?  “The Healing Power of Jesus“.  Well, imagine my surprise when it was really…

Who knew that juicing was on the same playing field as Jesus?  Not me.  The only Juice I knew that was halfway worth a damn was OJ Simpson.  The one before he (allegedly) killed his wife and her friend.  And if he had any healing power, he definitely kept it to himself that night.  And it had to be OJ, right?  Not Juice Newton.  Or Jamba Juice.  Or Juicy Coiture.  Wait… It could be steroids.  Doing those is referred to as “juicing”.  Nah.  Gotta be OJ.

And the last guy that I saw with healing powers was ironically that big black dude in “The Green Mile”.  Another prisoner, no less.  Good ole John Coffee could pull the diseases right out of you with just a deep French kiss.  Personally, I think he could have done it without the kiss, but what do I know?  Well, at least he could pull the disease out of ya before they put him the electric chair.  The 1930’s kind of electric chair where anything could happen.  Kind of like one of those circus shows that’s not quite Ringling Brothers material.  The ones you only know about because they are held at the local armory and leave coupons at the convenience stores and mexican restaurants.

So, I say “kudos” to Mr. Simpson.  Kudos to you indeed, sir.  You keep on healing and I’ll keep on passing your show on DirectTV.


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