Monthly Archives: February 2012

Junior Graham’s Liquor Store

Thanks, Junior Graham, for making Christians look even stupider.  On the good side, he’s not afraid to mention the name of Jesus.  After that?  It’s all downhill and “flip-floppy”.  Sort of like having a liquor store and then naming it after Christmas.  Like somebody would actually do that.

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This Just In…

I just love the fortune tellers political experts at places like The Huffington Post.  The polls have just closed and already this pops up:

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The media is in such a damn hurry to beat other people to news that they tell us who won a state BEFORE THE VOTES ARE COUNTED!  If you bother to read newspapers, you’ll remember that Santorum (not Romney) won the Iowa contest.  But on election night, that’s not how it was reported.

Now personally, I don’t give a rats fat patootie who wins.  Our party is in shambles to be quite honest.  And picking between Barack, Mitt and Rick is like choosing between Moe, Curly and Larry.  Except that Moe is black, Curly is rich and Larry is religious.  Even if the Post is right, it just stinks.  If they know so damn much, then tell me who won the upcoming presidential election.  And the Super Bowl.  And not in that order.


Kiss My Caucus Caucaus Cauc-ass

The fine folks at WLBT continue their streak of misspelling words.

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But you’ve got to give it to them…  A dictionary, I mean.  They’ve now turned to spelling things different ways in THE SAME STORY.  At least that ensures you getting it right somewhere.  Hey, guys, you ever heard of spell check?  Or have you hired some dyslexic foreign tourist drop-out to do the graphics?  Like Borat.

Somewhere Noah Webster is turning over in his grave.  Apparently he’s one of the many dead viewers of WLBT.


Fish Hook(er)

Only in Mississippi would you see this…

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That bride isn’t blushing.  She’s embarrassed. But she is definitely a keeper; too big to throw back in.  Personally, I think the dude should have just followed the old “catch and release” methodology, but that’s just me…

What?  Just because she’s a bride I can’t ridicule the whole hillbilly “show up in a boat to my wedding reception at Bass Pro Shop” thing?  Geez… OK.  But I had a really good line using the word “Cooter”.  Guess I’ll just save it for later.


Let’s Play Doctor; By Milton Bradley

From today’s Yahoo! headlines:

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Hugo Chavez arrives in Cuba for urgent cancer surgery after emotional farewell in Venezuela.

“I have faith that everything will go well,” Chavez told Venezuelan state television…. He said he brought with him a box of books to read… including … “TNT: The Power Within You,” a self-help book with a subtitle that reads: “How to release the forces inside you & get what you want!”

Well, sir…  I’m assuming that what you want is to die shortly.  The only force inside of you that will be released will be a fecal sample and your soul (assuming you have one).  Going to Cuba for cancer surgery?  You have to be kidding!  Cuban surgeons get their MD degrees if they can successfully remove the funny bone in the game Operation one out of four times.  You can routinely hear the phrase “What part is that?” during surgery in Havana, so I’m not expecting a good result.

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So, when Hugo kicks over in a couple of days, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  I’m sort of a visionary like that.

PS:  I feel kind of sorry for the Operation dude.  Bad hair, big gut, and a bad case of microphallus.  Looks like Moe from The Three Stooges.  Did he have microphallus, too?  Hmmmm….


Holy Bat-Foreclosure

Looks like tough times for everybody, including The Caped Crusader:

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It’s strange.  It looked so much cooler in the movies.  I’m just guessing that it was repossessed by the Gotham City Towing Company?  Hey, Batman….  If you can’t make the payments, then DON’T BUY THE CAR!  Slacker.


Bye Bye Miss American Pain In The Butt

If you caught the recent Auburn vs Mississippi State basketball game last week, you may have seen this Auburn twerp picking on a MSU cutie.  Of course you can’t TELL she’s a cutie because he has his Hobbit hands all over her face and is treating her like she’s Rihanna and he’s Chris Brown:

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Two things, if I may….  One, tell me that he doesn’t look like Buddy Holly:

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Two, (and I know that it wasn’t his nickname) I think the nickname “The Big Bopper” would have a different meaning today than it did in 1959, don’t you?  Me, too.