SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico — Mitt Romney scored an overwhelming win Sunday in Puerto Rico’s Republican presidential primary, trouncing chief rival Rick Santorum on the Caribbean island even as the two rivals looked ahead to more competitive contests this week in Illinois and Louisiana.
There were only 20,000 freaking people that voted. 20,000! There are more people in all of the Chuck-E-Cheese restaurants at this very second than there are in Sweat-O-Rico. C’mon. Jeez.
I can see Romney’s speech now: “We overwhelmingly trounced Santorum in this beautiful state. It is a state, right? No? Then what the heck is this place? Huh? A territory? Damn, what’s that? Do the delegates count? They do? Then, fantastic!!! On to Guam! Then the Phillipines. Then look out Haiti. You’re next on the Romney Express!!!!
I though all Puerto Ricans lived in New York and that Puerto Rico was just an island for tourists. Am I’m not kidding. OK, maybe a little bit…