Monthly Archives: April 2012
From ABC News, I give you this headline:
Holy Shit! 10-Year-Old Girl Gives Birth to Daughter
That first part was mine, but I think it adds a lot to the concept that a 10-year-old gave birth. That means that she was “doing the deed” at nine years old. Blame THAT one on the internet, you televangelists!
Hold on…. This just in….. The fetus just gave birth to a healthy baby girl.
Here’s the link…
There’s nothing quite so appetizing on a hot day as a fresh, juicy, dill pickle. ESPECIALLY one with genital warts. Mmmmmm….
If you’re looking for an educational book, then I highly recommend you
buy this avoid this waste of money:
Let’s get serious. The secret to putting a smile on his face is so short and simple that it could be sent on Twitter. Forget a whole book. 52 ways? Somebody has been reading too many Glamour magazines, if you ask me.
9 NAUGHTY THINGS EVEN GUYS CRAVE IN BED
10 WAYS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT IN BED
What is it about women who don’t understand what men want, and the need to have the answer in the form of a list?
Courtesy of Yahoo! news:
bin Laden Family Sentenced For Living in Pakistan
Osama bin Laden’s three widows and two daughters have been sentenced to 45 days of house arrest for living in Pakistan illegally and will likely be deported. All five women were sentenced to serve time in jail, but their villa in Islamabad has been declared a “sub jail” where they will serve out the remainder of their sentence.
For whatever reason, I cannot figure this out (see my March 25th entry). These people are sentenced to 45 days IN PAKISTAN for the crime of LIVING in Pakistan. Hell, living in Pakistan is punishment enough! In fact, if I had to choose whether it’s more depressing to live with Osama bin Laden or to live anywhere in Pakistan, then I’d choose the latter. Forget that. If I had to choose the worst option between sharing my spouse WITH FOUR OTHER PEOPLE or living in Pakistan, I’d STILL CHOOSE LIVING IN PAKISTAN!! NOBODY SHOULD BE LIVING IN PAKISTAN! Have I made myself clear?
Can you even fathom the number of convenience stores and Best Westerns there must be in Pakistan? And the damn irony is that bin Laden was never seen in either of them.
PS: Dude had the US Special Forces after him and also had to put up with three wives? Karma is a bitch. I think that’s in the Koran somewhere.
AOL reports today that “Obama Calls On Congress To Pass ‘Buffett Rule”. And I, for one, couldn’t agree more. There OUGHT to be rules surrounding buffets, and thankfully somebody put some thought into that. While I haven’t see the legislation, I’m guessing that it includes:
- Being able to get your own freaking tea (including refills) instead of having to wait for a waitress to do it for you, only to be forced into tipping because of said tea service. Quit shaking me down, Chinese Buffet Extortionists!
- No more “running out” of something big, like meatloaf or pizza, while stockpiling the other crap such as broccoli and rice. If I wanted to eat healthy, I wouldn’t be at a place that puts QUANTITY over QUALITY!
- Offering more salad dressing than just Ranch and Blue Cheese. Let’s mix it up some, people! Got any Peppercorn back there? How about Comeback?
- Chicken Noodle Soup? Very original. And the only soup you offer? Wow. That’s just amazing. That comes to an end with this new law, bud.
Wait a minute… This legislation is about taxes? It’s name comes from Warren Buffett? Never mind.