The Diceman Sucketh

From WebProNews: Andrew Dice Clay Gets Career Reboot From Woody Allen

Ordinarily I wouldn’t comment on such a non-issue as Andrew Dice Clay getting a “career reboot”, but since it’s Andrew Dice Clay, then move aside.

I never found him particularly funny. But holy hell has it gone downhill. I caught this loser at The Riviera Hotel in Vegas earlier this year; performing in front of a whole 100 people or so. And the whole act was recycled garbage, except this time coming from the mouth of an old man (see pic):

Image

I’m not trying to be rude, Diceman.  You’re just insignificant.  I loved watching you hawk your $30 T-shirts after the show while being sure to keep 10 feet away from your paying customers.  I found it adorable.  At least I think “adorable” is the word I’m looking for.  Oh, wait.  It’s not.  You’re an asshole.   Plain and simple.  And that’s not just from me.  I have a buddy that deals in Vegas and BY COINCIDENCE, he has the misfortune of having The Dickman at the table.  Oh, the things you hear.  Right, Dicey?

But, to show there’s no hard feelings, I wrote you a poem:

Roses Are Red

Violets Are Blue

You Are A Jerk

Get A New Act

Like it?  Catchy, right?  NOW GIVE ME MY $25 DOLLARS BACK THAT I SPENT ON A TICKET!

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