I’d Like To Solve The Puzzle

I have a bad haircut.  Can’t help it.  My face is ugly and so it limits my options.  It’s true.  I recently took the Ugly Meter App from iTunes and scored a 3.5 out of 10.  Not kidding.  A damn monkey with scabies on his face could score better than me.  I’m only slightly better looking than a lesbian I saw last week working as a bartender.  Her name was Sissy.  I started to point out the irony of that name as compared to a squat female with a mullet haircut, but thought better of it because getting my ass kicked by a lesbian would have just topped the whole damn thing.

Anyway, both Sissy and I have bad haircuts.  But, I’m pleased to announce that as I left the Cleveland airport, I noticed this sign and immediately felt better.

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What?  This is what someone would look like if they used the ultra strength hair gel by accident.  Just after getting their haircut done by a blind barber using a weed whacker.  While undergoing chemotherapy.  And after a pack of rabid squirrels gnawed the rest.

And check out this name:

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I know some Italians that couldn’t pronounce this name.    Holy hell!  There are only five letters in the guy’s whole name!   They should put this on the Wheel of Fortune.  “May I have an N, please?”.  Oh, puzzle solved.

So, while I’m a 3.5, at least I look better than Radiation Man.  Keep smiling, Gino.  People will wonder what you’re up to.

I do look better than him…  Right?

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