I’d Like To Solve The Puzzle

I have a bad haircut.  Can’t help it.  My face is ugly and so it limits my options.  It’s true.  I recently took the Ugly Meter App from iTunes and scored a 3.5 out of 10.  Not kidding.  A damn monkey with scabies on his face could score better than me.  I’m only slightly better looking than a lesbian I saw last week working as a bartender.  Her name was Sissy.  I started to point out the irony of that name as compared to a squat female with a mullet haircut, but thought better of it because getting my ass kicked by a lesbian would have just topped the whole damn thing.

Anyway, both Sissy and I have bad haircuts.  But, I’m pleased to announce that as I left the Cleveland airport, I noticed this sign and immediately felt better.


What?  This is what someone would look like if they used the ultra strength hair gel by accident.  Just after getting their haircut done by a blind barber using a weed whacker.  While undergoing chemotherapy.  And after a pack of rabid squirrels gnawed the rest.

And check out this name:


I know some Italians that couldn’t pronounce this name.    Holy hell!  There are only five letters in the guy’s whole name!   They should put this on the Wheel of Fortune.  “May I have an N, please?”.  Oh, puzzle solved.

So, while I’m a 3.5, at least I look better than Radiation Man.  Keep smiling, Gino.  People will wonder what you’re up to.

I do look better than him…  Right?


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